might.bail, by Renny Conti (2024)

1.

i’ve got a new thing nowyou’d never know it from just talking to mebut in the mornings on the new york streetsi do whatever feels good to menew to mei’ve gotta do things nownow that my i’m done with all the popular thingsi’ve always loved the brand new feelinglearning a skill and letting it turn meinto a person who is well roundedi’ll swim the ocean baby climb a mountain i’ll hold the world just like i spellbound itif i had moments when i felt groundedwhether its something that I’ve seen beforeor never ever thought of caring forall i want is a brand new thingyou got me fiending for the new feelingthe new feelingso i won’t stay right heredon’t want to work another 45 yearsi don’t wanna stay bundled upbut i don’t wanna be another f*ck upso for now i’ll just take my thingsi’ll wrap em all up just below my wingsand stepping to the edge of everythingi’ll tell myself i found my one true thingand hopping off i start to plummet on downand every moment till i hit the groundi start to feel my body sway and swingmy soul is on its own new journeyso whether its something that i’ve seen beforeor never ever thought of caring forall i want is that time to beanother rush from the brand new thingthe new feeling

2.

there's nothing I can doto make you feel better about itthere's nothing I can sayto make you feel better about ityet I'm still asking you for favorsI worked a couple months there(you said yeah)then I left to follow through(I said uh huh)with something I had dreamed ofbecause I wanted tothen I sold the gift you gave meand I lied to youno I never was a good oneat least not to youyet I'm still asking you for favors

3.

bodieskissing in the backseatlove is just an accidentno one has a clue who to blame for thisis it God above?freed upevery time i see yalove is like a miraclei don’t have a cluewho to blame for thisis it the both of us?wally moves just like a dollysmooth and melancholylaughing to the sky with his head leaned backi love him sorooftopstoned doing the moonwalkdreaming of a food truckmaybe later we’ll f*cki wonder if he knows the way i’m thinking bout him

4.

now each time i shut my eyesi feel you like rain upon mewent to some art suppliesleft our bikes and we got walking fading into orange lightmaybe even bluewalking in the afternoon with youearlier it rained till noonyou and i were inside watchingphantom thread then old cartoonsbut now we’re talking and we’re walking

5.

i found a cobweb in my mailboxnext to a Marriott Hotelpiece of physical spam mailand i checked my emailfive days since i last repliedyou asked how i’ve been killing timeand why i shaved my headthese days i’m talking loudto an empty houseif i spent years alonethen why’s this feel so wrong?my life’s overgrown and i’m standing on the dying lawnwe got nowherethat night i called youwhen i was outside of the barwith Sam and Rosie waitingand i spent the whole night playing pool with old guysknowing you were blocks awaynot knowing i was toothese days i’m talking loudjust to hear the soundif i spent years alonethen why’s this feel so wrong?waiting for the tonecrying from my phone

6.

change meintomachinetattoooof herfirst namewhat areyou insanegrey skybeach timegrew upin myhometowni know nowwas undera cold spell

7.

if you don’t want to goyou can hide away at homego outside in the dayeverybody looks our wayfunny clothes cloud of smokejust pretend that it’s a jokepope walks into a barhope we don’t go too farin his big old heada block of leadbrings him to the bottom of it alllet’s scrub it cleanthen vaselinepull the truckoff the road big wet lips and big red noselost his cool craigslist addoesn’t mean that you’re badout his pointy moutha soupy poutbrings him to the bottom of it alllet’s scrub it cleanthen vaseline

8.

my conscience is a bag of rocksprojected in a letterboxi lay low as the lights turn offin real lifein my day to dayi’m nothingjust a stubborn stainbut as night fallsAri scares me straightscreen flicks oni’m unstoppablei’m evil nowdiabolicali’m the hero nowi’m resolvablemy moviesare the only thingall the charactersi see me in themand all the risks i takework out in the end

9.

oh how it hurtsmy bleeding of heartthe road falls away about a mile on downyou can’t get your car to startlet’s not say goodnight just yetlet’s not close the door on thisthere’s nothing to say about the end anymorei think i’ll just savor iti’ve got a friendwho’s been through it alljust how the road gets narrow and softjust as the night does falllet’s not see the world just yethe started to say to mestill so much to see in the town we grew upand we just turned 23and i think you might be on to somethingso tell it to me againand promise you won’t leave before the light comes tomorrowi caught the fluthe week we broke upstayed on your bed while you shuffled to worki knew that you’d had enoughi don’t blame the cold spell that came in that weeki don’t blame the night that we all shared a drinki do wonder why you cared for meif you knew you were leavingand i thought you might be on to somethingso tell it to me againand promise you won’t leave before i start feeling better

10.

i don’t wanna go outsidei just wanna stay here with youdream about my old lifemaybe i can gomaybe you can come tooeveryone’d say we can’tbut we don’t have to listen to themnothing here to do that hasn’t been donecut the string you been pulling all alongwas it permanent?that word or was it leavingin the belly of a bird?hot sun, carry whistled in the winddidn’t hurt when i fell back thenblack specks in the water we drankfat crush when the hot girl sangfat kid never wanted no lovemagnifying glass steady beaming on a bugbody in the mist running freelynothing about them, something about megrowing up, wasn’t everything about me?now i’m sick and dying, corner of the partywhere would i be if i never doubt me?growing up, valley nestled in the countyshutting down, isn’t everything about me?while the world’s turning, spinning all around me

released August 12, 2022

All songs written, recorded, and mixed by Renny Conti

Recorded in-apartment in Brooklyn, NY
Drums on ‘Email’ recorded at Cutting Edge Studios in New York City

‘Vaseline’ co-written by Gabe Grabovac
Piano on ‘Vaseline’ and ‘On to Something’ by Gabe Grabovac
Drums on ‘Email’ by Sean Holloway

Mastered at Red Convertible Studios in Brooklyn, NY